Leave a Trail of Sequins

05 Jan Leave a Trail of Sequins

I hated for a minute that I got caught up in the hype of starting a New Year and the subsequent New Year, New Me attitude that follows.

You guys know I take stock in my life, evaluating what can enter a new year with me when it comes time to turn a year older, but this New Year’s Eve was weird.

Admittedly, I had such a high hopes for this year. I kicked it off in Paris, staring at the Eiffel Tower, with some of my favorite people, so I knew this year would be amazing.

It wasn’t, though. It was really, very hard for me and I’m glad to see it go.

Before I moved to New York, I had such a clear idea of what my life would be when I moved here. The clothing I would wear, the clubs I’d go to, the stories I’d write, the men I’d date.

I use to envision it all when I would run around the lake behind my house at home.

Coincidently, the man who is an actual dream come true (you can quote me on that the next time I’m mad at you), I’d met before I officially moved to New York. In 2009, I had an internship in the city, right after graduation, and I met this man in H&M.

I don’t know. We texted a couple times, maybe had one phone conversation. The timing was off. My heart wasn’t in it.

No one tells you what happens what you land the dream (or you lose it temporarily). I’m just trying my best here. But if I take anything away from 2014, it’s that I need a vision. Something to believe in. I need to feel connected to what I’m doing. Whether that be in my professional life, here on the blog, and most definitely at home.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]By no means am I to float through life. [/inlinetweet] I get really disheartened when this happens.

“I have to tell you something,” I told Yasmein. “I don’t what you to worry or think I’m suicidal,  but I keep getting this feeling like this can’t be it. This can’t be my life. I’m like a robot. I can do all of this on autopilot. And I hate it.”

Wearing: Zara Coat (similar)// Bella Dahl Denim Shirt//Lucy Paris ‘Shasta’ Leggings// Joe’s Jeans Pumps//Juicy Couture Faux Fur Infinity Scarf// Portolano Gloves//Chanel Bag

She sighed, letting me know I wasn’t crazy. “I know the feeling, honey,” she said in the soothing way of hers.

2014 cemented a few things that I’ve known for some time. Maybe I didn’t let go when I should have. So I was dragged a bit.

I’m going to look at it as shedding skin. Something that needed to happen to sharpen me for what’s to come in 2015. That’s a reason to celebrate in sequin leggings, no?

At least, then,[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””] I’ll be sure to leave a trail of sequins along the way.[/inlinetweet] I’m so ready for you, 2015.

How was your New Year’s Eve? Any resolutions? What are you glad to say goodbye to?