31 Mar Dear New York, Show Some Compassion
I love this city, I hate it sometimes, too. In an effort to keep track of my feelings about the Big Apple during my time here I try my best to chronicle them in a letter to this crazy place. Welcome to Dear New York–a series posted monthly on the anniversary of the date I moved here.
I’ve been thinking, New York.
About the homeless people I encounter.
I don’t feel like I was every really mean to them. I give when I can, apologize when I can’t.
I’m not even sure why I feel the need to offer up the, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
I think I just want whomever I’m speaking to, to know that I see them.
We all just want to be seen.
In our struggles, our happiness, our accomplishments, we all just want to know that someone sees us.
My mom asked me if she thought I’d changed at all since losing a job.
I had to think. I wasn’t sure. Like, I knew that I had but you get caught up in the grind of trying to make it here that change isn’t always so evident.
So, two things.
I’m now very aware of how self-absorbed I used to be. Sometimes I couldn’t see around my own problems—that really weren’t even problems, if I would just relax—to understand that literally everyone is going through something.
A simple ‘how are you?’ ‘hey, haven’t heard from you…’ or even a ‘hey, come over, let me feed you,’ could do wonders.
I know better now. Sorry for acting like the actual Carrie Bradshaw.
I’m also very compassionate towards the homeless, even more so than I was before.
In my old apartment, I’d gotten to know the homeless men that took up residence on the school steps on my block. Once, I noticed that one of them had a swollen jaw, I don’t have health insurance, my parents bought me something through ObamaCare so I know that struggle. I offered to go with him if he wanted to go to a clinic. He declined but would take the pain medicine that I would leave for him. I never got to tell him I was moving and I still think about them sometimes. I hope they’re okay.
I really wanted to know what happened. I know no one moves to New York to live this way. Sh*t, I didn’t.
Just one thing could be enough to derail someone mentally. And you never what people are going through or what demon they’re battling. I’m thankful that nothing (as of yet) has caused me to reach this breaking point and for a mama that prays.
It’s just so weird that in a city where you can literally make your dreams come true, there doesn’t seem to be any support for those of us who are floundering a bit.
Unless you pee on the 6, causing delays on the green line. Then Lord help you.
Wearing: XOXO Leopard Boyfriend Coat from Macy’s// Forever21 Shirt Tied at the Waist// A Gold E Chloe Jeans from Piperlime// J.Crew Silver Metallic Oxfords// Coach iPad Worn as a Clutch
Shop The Look:
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New York, I think we could do a better job here. We could show a little more compassion. I’m not sure how, but I want to.
Oh! After this post, my friend Jonnee suggested that I could volunteer here and here. I’ve applied to help out at the women’s home in Brooklyn and am actively looking for a soup kitchen to work at once a month.
Compassionately yours,
Eugenia Russell Hargrove
Posted at 10:34h, 31 MarchNew York is teaching you many life lessons in such a short time. Bravo to you for learning while enduring which contribute to great character. Love you!
Mom
ChanningintheCity
Posted at 10:23h, 01 AprilThanks, Mom! Love you, too.
Elle In Bloom
Posted at 12:08h, 31 MarchYou’re right, a little compassion goes a long way…especially when you’re having the commute from hell (I ride the dreaded green line too, haha). Helping others really does take our minds off ourselves. Great post!
Elle in Bloom
ChanningintheCity
Posted at 10:23h, 01 AprilThank you, Elle! I appreciate you reading 🙂
Sunday
Posted at 22:30h, 31 MarchNY Cares is great for volunteering as well.
ChanningintheCity
Posted at 10:24h, 01 AprilThank you, Sunday! I love that I’m able to see where there is a need using this site. I have it bookmarked.
ShesFacingFreedom
Posted at 09:56h, 21 AprilWhen I was working in Philly, I had to cover an film series about homelessness. That changed the way I viewed homelessness. I am not going to lie, I used to try to pretend I didn’t see them. Now I just can’t especially knowing that in many cases, its just a small turn of events that occurred making them homeless. I think you’re right. Compassion goes a long way.
ChanningintheCity
Posted at 10:57h, 21 AprilAnd honestly, I’m like 2 pay checks away from being homeless so I should never act like I’m too good to help anyone.
Lucy Dazilma
Posted at 01:55h, 27 MayFirst of all, I love this outfit.
Second of all, you realizing that you were self-absorbed helped me to realize that I was too. I definitely fell off and retreated into my shell when things got bad for me. Lost some friends that way. I can definitely see how unhealthy that can be.
Finally, why has Feedly made me miss all of these posts??
ChanningintheCity
Posted at 23:03h, 27 MayI think I’ve lost some friends that way too and dang you, Feedly!